Update

The weather outside is frightful! For the desert anyway. It's windy, overcast, and cold. Too windy and cold to ride anyway. So I have time to catch the blog up on what's been going on.

I moved my horses from the only commercial self care boarding facility in 29 Palms to the base stables. Not a bad facility but it's further from my off-base home. Why did I move further away from home? Oh the usual, the neighbors taught my super gregarious thoroughbred how to rear AT PEOPLE for food and the BO sprayed my horses with water when it was hot (but just a sprinkle- enough to make them water phobic but not enough to actually cool them off). Hello! Call ME if you think my horse is having problems with heat!

So the TB went to live with his other mom in a herd of 5 on 5 acres. I still get to see him and ride him but not like having him with me. I never thought I'd miss him as much as I do. But he's sane again and is in the best living situation for him. The two mustangs went through 10 days of quarrantine in the busiest environment I could imagine for them. Helicopters flying low, a paintball field, gaggles of running shouting men, big trucks driving by and garbage dumpsters emptied not 15 feet from their corrals. By the end of it, Phantom didn't bother to even get up when the dumpster was emptied.

So I pretty much let my horses sit until October. With turn out of course but I had this stupid problem with overheating everytime I tried to do anything outside.

So I decide to get on Shazaam in the roundpen and all the work I've put in on Moose is paying off- NO FEAR! Just walk-trot but more for his lack of muscle than my fear. I need to recondition my poor horses now. Then the following week, I got on Phantom in the arena and I don't know why I expected him to act like a butthead but he was a perfect gentleman! Walk-trot and no taking off even though I gave him the room to do so if he really wanted to.

So what changed about the horses? Nothing. I'm the change.

I still feel more confident riding full seat in a western saddle BUT Jessica helped me with half seat from another perspective (with my body) and it feels better. Skill increases confidence which leads to improved skill and then greater confidence. Sounds stupid I guess but positive cycles that feed themselves are things we should actively seek. We find negative self-feeding cycles all the time.

Part of the problem with feeling confident in half seat is that I'm (ahem) pushing maximum density... I couldn't snow-ski in my current condition either. I'd likely tear an ACL trying. So the extra 10 lbs I gained over the summer because I've been sitting on the sofa HAS to go.

Of course new public stable = new drama. It's enough to make me physically ill though. There are people there that have to be stirring crap all the time. I'm seriously looking for horse property to rent. I'm ready to handle my horses on my own without fear- even when Shazaam is exploding and even when Phantom is being belligerant- I'm good.

There are still firsts I have to go though. I have to ride my horses on the trail and I have to be able to take them places and ride them before I feel like I'm closer to 100% rehabbed of my fear but I KNOW how to go about it now. I have a safe path to get there.

I'll be taking Phantom to a local show n go in January. I'll update our progress here.